This was sent to me as a little comedy, and I've decided to make it a whole new little section for you to laugh at and such. You can send any contributions or additions to me.

The Idiot's Guide to Castlevania

Started by Patrick VandenBussche

1. Pits are bad, in fact they are evil, we don't exactly know what happens when you fall down one, you just die. I guess its kind of like Mario, the pit is bottomless, or maybe its not, anyway, stay away from them usually by jumping over them.

2. Anything that hurts you is usually called an enemy, or a foe, you may not know this, but by whipping the enemy -or foe- you will destroy them. The bigger the enemy, the more hits. Sometimes that's not true, sometimes you should figure in the enemy size factor which is something like X= 2-x4 then subtract the quadrant of B to the addition of C-Qx. Next take the length of your whip and add RsB-2 and Dracula's Leg should be added with rUb=1. If all else fails ask someone else.

3. Candles contain items. Usually different kinds of items can be found, sometimes I close all the shades, lock the door and turn on Castlevania. Then I try to guess what item will be in the candle before I whip it. Eating cereal with little marshmellows while doing this is even more fun. 4. Turn you system on, if you can't beat the game this is usually 60 percent of the reason why. I tried Castlevania 3 for hours before I knew what

I was doing wrong. Now I will show you the basic walkthrough for the Castlevania games, you may need to change this around a bit since it goes for every Castlevania. Yes, I know, I'm a genius.

BEGIN GAME---->FIGHT THROUGH CASTLE---->KILL DRACULA

The other variation is:

TURN SYSTEM ON---->BEGIN GAME---->GO THROUGH CASTLE---->KILL DRACULA

Now we will get on with specifics:

KILLING DRACULA:
Okay first enter his lair. You there? Now attack him and dodge whatever he's throwing at you. There is a special code in one of the Castlevania games where you can press up, up down down, left right left right B A at the title screen and get 30 lives and see dracula naked.... no wait that's another game... Forget i said that, why would i even think of Dracula naked... that's just disgusting. Sorry, its 12:40, at this time a young teenage boys mind starts to wander, but that was uncalled for.

CASTLEVANIA: SYMPHONY OF THE NIGHT
This game was programmed by some unknown useless character named Eric Sinyaso, or something like that, its just a rumor that he was the real one behind this game. Anyways the best way to beat this game is to attack the enemies. Without attacking you're a dead man. You can play Sephiroth in this game, just close your ears whenever they say the name Alucard, and then yell out loud Sephiroth and you will be able to play him. He's exactly like Alucard for some reason, I'll tell ya, code designers these days.

Now this is the tail end, just a few Misc. facts and helpful information.

1. Your sony CD WILL fit inside a nintendo deck and your NES cartidges will fit into a sony playstation, I have yet to figure out how to make them play the games, but i have the first part down.

2. You still reading this? Here's some helpful info, STOP!!!!